Well now that Artificial Intelligence is here, we're officially done speculating about the Northwoods gravel scene.
From here on out, we'll just automate all stories and let computers make stuff up. Kidding.
But seriously we asked AI to look around The Nxrth and predict what it thinks is in store for 2025 and here are some of its irreverent predictions.:
The “All Downhill 100 Mile Gravel Route” is Finally Discovered
Some local legend will claim to have mapped out the only 100-mile route in the Northwoods that is somehow all downhill. No one will believe it. Until they try it.
All-You-Can-Eat Cheese Curd Rest Stops
To refuel during long rides, rest stops will feature all-you-can-eat cheese curd stations, combining Wisconsin's favorite snack with endurance cycling.
Kwik Trip Becomes a UCI Sponsor
Cyclists finally get the support they deserve when Kwik Trip unveils its official “Karuba King” jersey, awarded to the racer who consumes the most gas station coffee before a ride.
Bear-Safe Bike Storage
Innovative bike racks will double as bear-proof containers, ensuring that riders' snacks and gear remain safe from curious wildlife during trail adventures.
Fat Bikes with Built-in Saunas
To combat the chilly Northwoods temperatures, cyclists will ride fat bikes equipped with mini saunas, ensuring they stay warm and relaxed during winter rides.
Moose-Powered Tandems
Embracing sustainable transportation, locals will develop tandem bikes powered by friendly moose, offering an eco-friendly and uniquely Northwoods commuting option.
The “700C vs. 650B” Debate Finally Ends
Not because one wins, but because the industry just decides to switch everything to 31.4-inch wheels. Because why not?
The First Ever Ride Across Wisconsin... in Snowmobile Suits
If winter fat biking gets any colder, riders will just start wearing full-on snowmobile suits. Aero? No. Warm? Definitely.
Bikepacking Bingo
Cyclists will play bingo during bike-packing trips, marking off squares for sightings like bald eagles, beaver dams, and fellow riders sporting retro gear.
Sasquatch Spotting Challenges
Cycling events will include friendly competitions to spot the elusive Sasquatch, with bonus points awarded for the best photographic evidence captured during the ride.
